New Paths - Important Goals

I made a decision yesterday that will change my career path. In the past when I've thought about leaving music therapy I have been very sad, which led me to believe it was not the right decision. At least, it was not the right decision at the time. Maybe it was simply because I was not ready to give up on my dream (this is what I've wanted to do for a very long time) or maybe it was because I had not discovered the right place for me; where it was I supposed to go after music therapy. I believe I have found it.

As a music therapist my favorite population to work with has been the PPCD classes. For those of you not familiar with the Texas educational terms that means Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities. The children in this group are aged 3-5 with a wide range of needs, from severe autism to needing just a little extra instruction before going on to the general population. I've worked as a music therapist with children in these classes that will, in all likelihood, be in special education classrooms the rest of their school careers and I've worked with children that went into regular kindergarten classes afterward. I even worked with a young boy who only said "hello" when I met him at age 4 and was speaking in full sentences and ready for general ed by the end of that same year. I am good with this age group and am most comfortable doing "my thing" as a therapist and some time teacher.

If you've read my posts in the past you know that right now I am not working this age group. Right now I am doing music therapy with elderly with Alzheimer's. While I find that I get some satisfaction from working with this group, I also find I am simply drained by the end of the day in a way I never was when working in the schools. I am drained in a way that tells me I was right to believe I am not truly equipped to be working in this population. It is not right for me. I've been working on getting a program off the ground in the town I live in that will be private therapy for children and young adults with disabilities. I've been working on this program for more than 6 months now and have exactly 0 clients. It going nowhere and I am getting frustrated. Frustrated to the point that I have been having visions of taking any fulltime job I could find just to be able to have a fulltime job. 

My first thought was just to go find a job at one of the universities here. That would mean secretarial type work but I can do that. I haven't been happy doing what I love for awhile now so I'm sure I would fine doing something I don't love if I knew I could save money to do the things I do love. Then I had lunch with a friend yesterday and my world changed.

She said she had considered leaving music therapy too. She had gone to the extreme of getting her certification in Special Education and even applying to the different school districts around here. In the end, her job situation changed and she decided to stick with music therapy. It got my brain rolling. One of the things I had considered doing in the past was getting my certification as an elementary music teacher. I even went to the orientation meeting for the alternative certification program to see what I needed to do. I decided it wasn't for me as I KNOW I simply wouldn't make a good music teacher. But I also know I would make an excellent SPED teacher. I don't know exactly why I know this but I am sure of it and suddenly that's what I wanted to do. It's all I could think of as I left my lunch with my friend. I went to see a piano student (the one I got instead of an actual music therapy student in the place where I'm building my new program) and as he was 10 minutes late I stood there and thought about this program. How it's going nowhere. I know that programs can sometimes take years to get off the ground but I have put my all into this for more than 6 months and have seen no return. That's extremely discouraging. My first thought was to take on more private clients outside the area. I've done that before and the driving is horrible but the pay is good. "Ok," I thought, "get those clients so you are working and seeing a little income and let this program build as slowly as it's going to need to." But I still wasn't satisfied. "So this contract thing is going to be life?" No, I am not happy with that.

I sat through my student's lesson and was really irritated that he had not only not practiced but had been playing "Chopsticks" all week and wanted to show me. I said to him, "It's wonderful that you are having fun with the piano, but just because everyone else in your family knows how to play Chopsticks that doesn't mean that's what you should be practicing. Hopefully, if you practice what I give you, you'll be able to play much better than all of them someday." Hopefully, my extreme irritation did not come through. Trying to live compassionately after all! :)

Then I was driving home and it came to me. I WILL take on those extra clients, but not just to make money while I wait for this program to kick in to high gear. I will do it so I will have the money for alternative certification. I am going to become a SPED teacher. And I was relieved. I was happy about it.

I think that means I've made the right decision. I know it will take a couple years for this to come to fruition, but I have a goal.

This morning it came to me why this made me so happy. Goals are important. I haven't really had a set goal for awhile now. Oh yeah, build the program to make it a fulltime position but that wasn't really something I could see as goal for some reason. THIS is  goal. And goals make us strive to be important.

Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

 
If you haven't read this, it is the last book in The Hunger Games series. In this book. Katniss is recovering in the fabled District 13 from her second go-round in the Hunger Games, Gale is training with their soldiers, and Peeta is being held prisoner by President Snow. Katniss has unwittingly become the face of the rebellion and must decide whether she will willingly take on the role. She does but with several conditions, one being that she kills President Snow. The rest...you have to read for yourself.

This is probably the quickest I've finished a series in a long time. Again, I am surprised by the number of people that don't like this last book. I thought it was amazing. My guess is that people simply don't like the sad turn of events near the end (I won't spoil it for people who haven't read it - though I suspect I'm the last person on earth to read it). Personally, I was bawling like a baby by the last page of the book. It's interesting how it is written because I didn't even feel like crying over those events until Katniss does in the next chapter. It's so heartbreaking when she loses it and the poor cat...well, I was a wreck. ;)

Now that I've read this, I'm looking forward to checking out Collins' Gregor series. It looks interesting, even if it may not be as heart wrenching as this one. 

Catching Fire: Audio

All I have to say about Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins is WOW!! I know a lot of people think the series is best on book 1, ok on book 2, and ho-hum on book 3 but I was blown away by this book (no pun intended). Maybe it's because the first was really only about the Games, with the political situation taking a back seat. I loved the story in the first book. There was lots of action which makes it very exciting almost the whole book. But the second book is exciting for a completely different reason. Yes, there's still plenty of action but mainly in the second half of the book. It's just not as important as the political intrigue that comes to the foreground in this book. And I love politics!

Katniss is trying to return her life to normal but her behavior in the Hunger Games has led to uprisings in some of the other districts. Before she and Peeta go on their victory tour, she is given a warning directly from the President: Calm the districts or face the consequences. And those consequences are nasty. Without meaning to, Katniss actually makes the situation worse...


The turn this book takes half way through caught me completely off guard. I figured something odd would happen with the Hunger Games, but what does happen...I wasn't expecting that. Well done Collins. I'm not an easy one to mislead. I love when I can't figure things out. I get bored if I guess it too soon.

Can I also say, what is up with the vampire President? Seriously! Maybe it says in the last book (which I will start tonight and leave off The Lady Elizabeth til I finish this series) but his breath smells of blood and he's been President for 50 years with very little change in his appearance? Totally a vampire. hehehe I know that's not the direction this series is taking but why was this made such a big deal of and then not explained? I really hope it's explained later. I hate loose ends like that. Collins seems to be turning out to be a fairly good writer, so I feel confident she will tidy up that bit. A little confident. :)

Widdershins: Audio

Widdershins by Charles de Lint is a type of sequel to The Onion Girl. It's a sequel in that it continues Jilly Coppercorn's story a few years after her accident. Where The Onion Girl tells us what Jilly and her sister's childhood was like, Widdershins has Jilly dealing with the emotional scars she still has but thought she had already dealt with. Of course, this is all done in classic Charles de Lint fashion so there are lots of fairies and animal people and everything in between. For fans of de Lint's Newford stories, many of the loved characters make an appearance: The Crow Girls, Joe Crazy Dog, Geordie Riddel and others. Besides Jilly's personal struggle, a war between America's native spirits and the faery that came from the old world is close to erupting. Joe has to make a terrible choice between finding Jilly and stopping a terrible war that would have devastating consequences.

While I loved this story as I have almost all of de Lint's books, I felt there were simply too many story lines happening. It reminds me slightly of The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb in that way. He tried to cram so many ideas into one book that some of the individual story lines suffered a little. It's possible the book wouldn't have been as good if the two main stories were separated but, other than Lizzie, the two stories don't really have any connection. Lizzie's story almost feels like an afterthought, which is odd since she is the character that opens the book. Lizzie's encounter with boguns (a mean, childish faery) brings Jilly and Geordie into the story but, even though she remains through most of the book, she's simply not important to the progression of the story. If the possible war had been separate, it could have been so much more.

However, I did enjoy the book and especially enjoyed Kate Reading's voice in the audio. She also narrated The Onion Girl and I came to associate her voice with Jilly in my head. It was nice to have that consistency. Plus, she's amazingly talented. She's able to give every character a different voice without sounding like a 5th grade teacher reading about scary monsters. Every voice is believable. That's a rare talent when sometimes the first person is a man, sometimes a woman, and (in this story) women in the bodies of children.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: Audio

Yes, I know I am late to the game in reviewing this book, but that's never stopped me before! hehehe

When I first started listening to the audio of this book, I was so intrigued by the story that I did what I promised myself I wouldn't do, I went out and read other reviews of it before finishing. Let's just say that when I discovered the original name was Men Who Hate Women and I saw this in the NYTimes review, "Except for Blomkvist, nearly every man in the book under age 70 is a violent misogynist," I quickly thought I was going to hate this book. Good thing I had already downloaded it and was listening to it, because if I had read that prior to buying it, I never would have. I loved this book. I think the NYTimes review of it is greatly exaggerated. I swear, the book reviewers they have there hate everything. Are they paid by how well they can trash a book?

I found the "mystery" to be slightly predictable but the writing so compelling I couldn't stop listening. I put in on my ipod and listened to on my walks with the dogs, as I was cleaning house, and even while I was in the shower! Shame on you Alex Barenson. Did you even finish this book? You say, "Even after 460 pages, it’s not clear whether Blomkvist cares, whether he’s troubled by his lack of intimacy or simply resigned to it. Is he stoic or merely Swedish? Either way, he seems more a stock character than a real person." But that's how all mystery characters are. Since when do mystery writers spend time examining the intricate details of the investigator's life? The reader would be bored. The mystery is the important part and Larsson does this well. I will definitely be reading the other books with Blomkvist and Lisbeth, who is undoubtedly the most interesting character in the book and well deserving of the American title. 

A Tale of Two Cities: Audio

For such a classic, I was surprised to learn how little I actually knew about Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities. I've read Great Expectations, Oliver Twist, and David Copperfield, yet for some reason never really even knew what this was about. I did know that at some point in the book, some man makes a great sacrifice because of a woman and states, "It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known." However, I didn't know why or how that came about.

I can't really say anymore about this book than has been said numerous times in the past. I do know more about the French Revolution than I did before. I never realized that the blood thirsty revolutionaries didn't stop with the nobles. They continued to hang people for just the word of anyone that the person MIGHT be against the revolution. The "laws" that were in enacted during this time which would cause a person to go to the guillotine were ridiculous. At one point in the book a man calls to another, "How many today?" And the other man answers "38! It will be 39 tomorrow!" They are discussing how many will have their heads cut off. It is not a matter of actual guilt, it is a matter of putting heads under the knife, no matter their guilt or innocence. It makes me look at Napoleon in a better light. Jeez, someone had to stop it!

Although it got a very slow start, this book was wonderful and had me crying in my car while I drove home from work. Maybe not such a good thing! It also got me interested in history again. History of all kinds, not just the French Revolution. Wow, my knowledge in that area is horrid!

Leeway Cottage: Audio

Unfortunately this is another book that started out with a lot of promise but left me feeling kind of flat. Leeway Cotttage by Beth Gutcheon is the story of Sydney Brant and Laurus Moss. They are a young couple very much in love just before the start of WWII. Laurus is a Jewish Danish painter who meets the rich Dundee girl Sydney while studying in America. Shortly after their marriage, he goes to help the Danish Resistance, leaving his newly pregnant wife alone for four years. After his return, neither he nor Sydney are the same. Can they find their way back to each other? Or will they remain forever apart?

This could have been a wonderful book. It had all the makings of a wonderful book. But it didn't happen. Sydney is a spirited, mostly happy person who wants to make the world a better place. Her mother was hard on her but Sydney seems to have not let it affect her too much as she still wants to find  and give happiness. But when Laurus comes home after the war, she is a different person. So much more than can be accounted for just by her husband being gone while she works and takes care of their child. I kept expecting the big reveal to tell me what exactly happened to Sydney while Laurus was away but it never happened. There is never any explanation for why she changed so much into the biggest *B* that ever lived. Her story is almost completely lost during this time. We get to know what Laurus was up to, what his parents we doing to stay alive, we even know by the end of the book the horrible things that happen to his sister in a concentration camp but the main character in this book is Sydney and there is NEVER an explanation for the big change that comes over her. There is also a constant hint throughout the book that Sydney's mother may not really be her mother. However, this is never directly addressed, making the reader feel cheated. Even if we never know the true answer, it should at least be dealt with if the author is going to hint at it several times throughout.

I thought the book was written very well, all the plot lines woven in carefully without a seam to make you feel as if it was integral to book and not added just for the fun of it. But leaving out two such a vital pieces of information leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth for this book. I can't even recommend it.

Saving Fish from Drowning: Audio

I am writing once more about the books I've been reading! I have been pretty bad about keeping up with my blog lately. However, I have been reading and I've listened to many audio books on my way to and from work. One of those I picked up was Saving Fish From Drowning by Amy Tan. It's read by the author.

First I have to say, I'm not sure I like that. Every time I've listened to a book read by the author, I've been less than impressed. You would think the author knows how to interpret their characters better than anyone, but if that were true then they wouldn't be authors, they'd be actors. Often the author's reading is much more flat and told in one voice even when from different points of view. I've found this of authors who are good at writing from different character's view points and from those that aren't. Often actors will give each character a slightly different voice. They sometimes change it with inflection, sometimes with accent, and sometimes with pitch. When an author reads his own work, this is lost because they are often not good at that. Tan is no exception.

I also realized very quickly while listening to this book that I had read this before. It was years ago and long ago enough for me to forget most of the plot but close enough that it all sounded like deja vu as I listened.

It's a very well written book, told about 12 Americans who take a trip to the Himalayan foothills of China and cross the border into Burma. This is supposed to be a historic trip, as no foreigner as made the crossing where they will since Burma became Myanmar. Each and every step of the trip is planned well before their crossing but from the beginning things go wrong. First, their tour leader is mysteriously killed just days before they are to leave. The group decides they should go anyway and enlist the help of another tour leader, one who is not a take charge kind of person, leaving the group rudder-less in dangerous lands.

I enjoyed this book very much and thought Tan's writing, if not reading, was beautifully done. There is just the right mix of non-likeable, annoying characters to go with the ones who think they can make it alright to make this an often hilarious tale even when they are in the most danger. 

The Endless Search

Ever have one of those authors that you simply never give up on? I have an author that I discovered many years ago and fell in love with. Unfortunately she has given up on my favorite series of hers but I never give up on her. I started reading The Ruins of Ambrai by Melanie Rawn when the second book The Mageborn Traitor was released. I had to look on Wikipedia to remember when exactly that was. March 1, 1997. Almost 13 years ago now. The funny thing is, now that I look that date up it's no wonder I remember the book so well. I seriously don't think I picked up the first book on the very day the second was released because I remember that day all too well. But I know it was close to this time and I know now why I continue to obsess about this series.
March 1, 1997 is the day that Arkadelphia, Arkansas, where I was living in at the time for college, was completely destroyed by an F4 tornado. It also happens to be my birthday; I was turning 20. At the time I was dating someone that I thought I was going to marry. Thank goodness for both of us it never happened, but we were very happy at that time. We had gone to visit my mom and my best friend from high school for the day (they only lived an hour away), to have dinner with them and celebrate my birthday. We stopped at a pawn shop about 15 minutes away from our destination so he could look at amps or guitars or some such. (I didn't play guitar then, though I wanted to learn). While there we learned from the guy working that a tornado was headed right for us. He had the news on and we watched the weather. We decided to stay there for a little while just in case. I stepped just outside the door and was shocked by the change in the weather. Just a few minutes before the sun had been shining. Not brightly but it had been there. Now the sky was a greenish-grey and the wind was blowing something fierce. Just as I called to my boyfriend to come see, I saw insulation flying through the air.
"I think maybe we should go back inside," I said.
"Ummm, yeah, good idea," he muttered.
So we rode the little tornado out, it wasn't much there and we thought we had a cute story to tell friends later.
When we went to dinner, the restaurant had the news on. It was one of those places like Chili's or Applebees or somesuch that always has the tvs on over the bar playing some game or news. On the all the channels was the news of the terrible tornados that whipped across Arkansas, Texas, and Louisanna. So many tornados that day all over the region that I doubt they ever knew exactly how many. I was shocked.

"I guess we weren't the only ones to see a tornado today!" I joked. But my mood quickly turned sour when I realized what they were showing. The pictures of devastation were just way too familiar.

"It's Arkadelphia," I breathlessly said to everyone at the table. "And that's the pharmacy that Kelli works at." It was leveled. There was truly nothing left of the building and I could not remember if Kelli (my roommate) was working that day. I tried immediately to call her, yet she didn't answer. I didn't know it at the time, but there were just not enough phone lines left in Arkadelphia to handle to normal amount of calls it gets, much less the massive amounts of people calling for help or people calling to see if loved ones were all right. I was simply frantic. I listened though when everyone said there was nothing I could do. I stayed, had dinner, and we left right after to go home and assess what we had left to go back to.

I will say right away, we were all very lucky. According to old reports (cause I couldn't remember this part) only 5 people died. It was shocking. You should have seen the devastation. The entire downtown was destroyed. I'm not exaggerating. There was was no building left standing downtown. This is where Kelli's work was. Kelli was not at work that day. She was not one of the few who died. In fact, she just had a baby two months ago. Everyone say congrats to Kelli!

Unfortunately for the town, most of the damage was done in the parts that were solely town. What I mean by this is, there are two universities in Arkadelphia. I highly doubt if they were not there that the town would survive. However, the most destruction was done in places that had nothing to do with either college. That turned out to be lucky for me and my friends though, in more ways than one. Our apartment and all the dorms being used were untouched. The universities had very little damage. As I recall the most damage was actually done to a dorm that was not used anymore. Just as the semester was ending, Kelli and I wanted to find a place off campus to live. Our campus apartment had some serious flaws and we needed a cheaper place to live.
An interesting side note. The pipes in that apartment popped constantly. It was loud so that you couldn't help but notice and be bothered by it. Unless you lived there. I remember going to the apartment with Kelli before I moved in and asking her what that noise was. She said, "What noise?" And cocked her head to listen. "Oh yeah, that's the pipes." She was serious. She had gotten so used to it that she didn't hear it anymore. I had almost the exact same conversation with a friend just a few months later, only I was the one saying "What noise?"

We found a couple new trailers for rent right where some houses had been destroyed and torn down. Another plus for us. I hate to list all the good things we got out of this tragedy, but they are there. My boyfriend and his friends rented the other trailer and we were suddenly party central. I'm sure the neighbor were overjoyed with us for the year we lived there but they had their moments too. We moved in during finals. I was deperately trying to study while listening to the constant pounding of hammers all around me as the town tried to recover. I tried to find some pictures, I figured there would be several but I guess the internet just was not as popular then as it is now so I couldn't find too many. Here's a good one to illustrate what I'm talking about.

It took me some digging but I found this one too:

So now, after all these years, is it any wonder that I still remember Melanie Rawn's books so well? The other day on Walking in the Mountains, JhanaJian brought up the subject of awareness. Mainly the post discussed how the two opposing forces of war and mediation can both bring us to a heightened sense of awareness. I believe this tornado did that for me at the time. I have read several of Melanie Rawn's other books, yet I remain spellbound (pun intended) by this incomplete series. I so aware of myself and my surroundings at this time of my life that I can sometimes remember whole conversations. I have a hard time some days remembering conversations from yesterday.

Many promises have been made that this series will be completed one day, yet Rawn continues to put it off, writing about other places and other characters. It is very possible The Captal's Tower (the third book) will never be written. But I never give up hope. Every so often I go on a search to see if there is any information about it. Everytime I find out about another story she did for a collection or a new book in different series she is writing. I am happy she got passed what ever difficulty she had. I'm not sure what it is but she has alluded to it in the notes of other books. This makes me not so anxious, knowing she has had some writer's block or personal problems or something that keeps her away from this series. But I loved this series and continue to hope that one day she will find her way back to it. And I never give up the search.

The Eye of the World re-read

The great thing about this project is that I get to post reviews of this series that I originally read before I had this blog. It's kind of exciting!

I posted some pre-review comments earlier this week. If you haven't had a chance to read them, go on and check it out.

My very last semester of college I took a class on early British literature. I was not an English major but a music major and I was more than ready to be FINISHED with school. So why would I take such a hard class? Oddly enough I didn't have enough junior/senior credits to graduate. I needed 1 more. Weird considering as a music major I KNOW I took more classes than most people in other majors. I have no idea how that happened. I could have taken another music class, it certainly would have made more sense but the only thing I hadn't taken that would be open to me was Marching Methods. Now if you're not familiar with the wonderful world of band directing you will not know what this means. Count yourself lucky. High school band directors in the south spend about as much time devising plans for their marching band as they do actually teaching children how to play their instruments. It's probably the number one reason I decided I did not want to be a band director in the first place. I loved marching band. I know that's weird, but I did. However, I did not want my entire career as a musician being defined by how well 15 year olds could play and step in time while remembering what form they're making. Therefore, I was certainly not going to take a class all about this. I took the British Lit class instead. To make a long story short, it was not my focus (as I was taking music history and composition in this same semester) and I didn't do so well in this class. But I met a wonderful guy who found out how much I like fantasy novels. He gave me The Eye of The World as a graduation gift. I don't remember his name and for that I am sorry. What I remember most about him is that when I said I would look for the book myself (I didn't want to take his paperback copy knowing I may never see him again to give it back), he said, "Take it. I love this series so much I'm planning on getting the whole run in hardback.

Little could this guy have known in 2000 how long he was going to have to wait for that particular dream to come true!

In May 2000, 8 books in the series had been published and the 9th was awaiting release later that year. A pretty good go for a series to have 9 books published in 10 years. Sounds like someone was making some good progress! I even remember thinking, "Wow! I won't have to wait forever for the ending! By the time I get to 9th book, maybe the end will have been written!" Yeah, not quite. I finished these books lightning fast (though I was starting to have some doubts as to its previously believed genius come The Path of Daggers) and purchased the 9th book, Winter's Heart, as soon as it was released. I waited another 3 years for the next book and was sorely disappointed in it. I then waited another 2 years for the next book and was even more disappointed. By now, even though I'm pretty irritated with the turn the series had taken (or lack of turn maybe is a better way to describe it) I was fairly invested in it. I wanted to know the end. Two more years passed and in this time, fans of series learned that Jordan was seriously ill.

I remember hearing about a letter that one of Stephen King's fans sent him when he was hospitalized after his car accident that basically said "You better not die before you finish the Dark Tower." It was heartless....but I kind of knew where the guy was coming from! In September of 2007, the thing Jordan's fans feared happened. He died beforehe could finish the last book. Now the next book (the *last* has been split into 3) has just been released. It has been 4 years since I read the previous book and even then I was starting to think to myself "who is that person again?" as I read the book. I knew there was no way I would be able to enjoy this new book. Thus, my project to begin the series again.

I am so glad I did! I remember why I love The Wheel of Time. I remember now, that Jordan WAS gifted writer. He just got lost along the way. I don't believe The Eye of the World is the best book in the series as some have said, but it is well paced with a good story that has great characters that leave you wanting more. I am looking forward to immersing myself once again in this world. I'm going to repost something I already said in the previous one because I think it bears repeating. I think it's something that lapsed-fans of the series may not realize: Even Jordan's side roads in the story may have been planned. Here's why I think that...

There is a speech Moiraine gives the Emond's Fielders after they're reunited in Caemlyn in which she states:

You three did not choose; you were chosen by the Pattern. And you are here, where the danger is known. You can step aside, and perhaps doom the world. Running, hiding, will not save you from the weaving of the Pattern. Or you can try. You can go to the Eye of the World, three ta'veren, three centerpoints of the web, placed where the danger lies.

Now obviously she is attempting to get the boys to see they need to act on one specific danger but as I read the sentence "Running, hiding, will not save you from the weaving of the Pattern," I realize maybe THIS is what is happening in the books that appear to be a bunch of random nothingness. If I want to give Jordan that much credit, I would say that maybe he is showing what would happen if they did try to run from their duties as ta'veren. Maybe.

The Eye of The World: Pre-Review Comments

First of all, I feel I should say I must have had way more time on my hands in college than I remember because it's taking me much longer to read this book than I remember it taking 10 years ago. Of course, since it was kind of a graduation present, I guess I wasn't reading it when I should have been studying or practicing. I had a whole summer of just working and doing practically nothing but reading and partying.

I'm about 150 pages from the end and the only reason I'm that far is because I was so sick for three days I hardly got out of bed. In fact, I had to go to Walgreens and I didn't even bother to get out of pajamas. I just threw my coat over top. Yes, I was THAT person. I was sick, I don't care. So, when I wasn't sleeping (which I did A LOT) I got to read. And this is what I've discovered:

I remember again why I got so hooked on this series. Jordan IS a good writer. I had forgotten that! He also seems to have had a plan, which is suddenly more apparent on a second read through than it ever was the first time through. There are things in the book I overlooked the first time through because they simply did not make sense not knowing what he was referencing. It's all well and good to give some foreshadowing but if your audience doesn't know wtf those things mean then they'll forget you said that! Reading it a second time I'm seeing all kinds of references to things that aren't even mentioned until several books later. On my original reading, as I got further into the story I got more and more frustrated by the apparent randomness of some of the storylines that kept popping up. I'm not going to completely absolve him of this though, I still think he went a-rambling in the last couple of books, but to know there was a plan to begin with and he laid the groundwork for that plan in book one as a good writer should makes me respect him again as a writer.

An interesting point I noted along this thought-line. There is a speach Moiraine gives the Emond's Fielders after they're reuinted in Caemlyn in which she states:

You three did not choose; you were chosen by the Pattern. And you are here, where the danger is known. You can step aside, and perhaps doom the world. Running, hiding, will not save you from the weaving of the Pattern. Or you can try. You can go to the Eye of the World, three ta'veren, three centerpoints of the web, placed where the danger lies.

Now obviously she is attempting to get the boys to see they need to act on one specific danger but as I read the sentence "Running, hiding, will not save you form the weaving of the Pattern," I realize maybe this IS what is happening in the books that appear to be a bunch of random nothingness. If I want to give Jordan that much credit, I would say that maybe he is showing what would happen if they did try to run from their duties as ta'veren. Maybe.

The Lovely Bones

I didn't realize that The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold was about to have a movie made from it and be released next month until I already had this home. Don't ask me how I possibly could have missed it, since it not only has a picture from the movie on the cover but it also says, clear as day, at the top "NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE." I have no excuse for not knowing. I was simply unobservant. I guess to be fair I have to say that Weatherford, Texas is to blame. Yes, the entire town of Weatherford, Texas. If they had a decent bookstore (if they had ANY bookstore) in town, I wouldn't have to resort to Target and WalMart when I have a break and have finished my book. And if you've ever seen the selection of books at WalMart, you know it's depressing. I was just about to despair when I picked this up, read the back and thought "hmmm, could be good."

My name was Salmon, like the fish; first name Susie. I was fourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973."
So begins the story of Susie Salmon, who is adjusting to her new home in heaven, a place that is not at all what she expected, even as she is watching life on earth continue without her - her friends trading rumors about her disappearance, her killer trying to cover his tracks, her grief stricken family unraveling.

Obviously, the story is told by Susie after she dies. She is a heaven. Not the heaven, but her heaven. A place that is perfect as she believes should be perfect. There are people there that share her vision of heaven but they also have places they go that are solely for themselves, as Susie has her Gazebo. And there are people she never sees in her heaven, because their heaven is so completely different. I thought this was a wonderful way of describing how beautiful and perfect means different things to different people.

I was caught in Susie's story and her longing for her family that kept her from being to move on without them. We get to see her little sister experience things Susie never will and Susie's grief and eventual acceptance of this. Sebold's story is sad and joyful. It is a good sign if I can both laugh out loud and cry heavy tears while reading the same book.

The Angel's Game: Audio

The Angel's Game by Carlos Ruiz Zafon is the story of David Martin, a young writer in Barcelona, Spain in the early part of the 20th century. Growing up in poverty to a father who could not read and disdained books, David eventually finds a small group a book lovers who encourage his desire to be a writer. Through the years he is contacted by a mysterious French publisher, Andreas Corelli, who wants David to write an even more mysterious book. He life, his home, and his friends all become suspect as he discovers exactly what he is supposed to write and the writers before him who have not been able to accomplish the task....

I was completely engrossed with this story and found myself often already home from my long drive without remembering the journey. I was intrigued by the mystery David finds himself in the middle of and kept discovering that what I had predicted would happen, didn't. And that always makes me gloriously happy. When an author sets up a storyline to go in one direction and misleads you into thinking it's going another, it doesn't matter what the genre: This is a good book. If that can be done well, the author deserves many prizes and much fame, both of which Zafon has received. I don't like being able to predict a story too soon, that makes it boring. When the moment of realization came for me near the end of this story, it was so stunning I actually had to turn the cd off and take a break from the book to digest what I had just learned. It came out of nowhere but made complete sense. Zafon had been setting it up all along but so carefully, it was so hidden, that I never saw it coming. Beautiful is all I can say.

If there is one thing that I have to criticize, that would be the pace of the first part of the book. Up until right before the start of Part 2, it is fairly slow. The early years of David's life and his interactions with Christina and Pedro are sometimes redundant. But for me, this was not enough to detract from the greatness of the book. Yes, I am pouring out the love of this book shamelessly. I even decided to wait a week before writing my review so I could try to write a more objective review. Not possible. Simply put, I loved this book. The only thing that happened with time to think on it, was that I came to like the ending. At first I felt cheated but as I put more time from when I listened to it, I grow to think it is the ONLY way it could have possibly ended. In Part 1, I was beginning to wonder if it was supposed to be a modern telling of Dracula, with David playing the part of Jonathan Harker. This may and may not have some validity but I won't say anymore on that. Sadly, the truth of Corelli is never told. We are left to make our own inferences. But I have an idea and I'll guess that I'm not far off.

Prophecy of the Sisters

I saw this book by Michelle Zink at Barnes and Noble when it first came out in August. I was intrigued by the story but wanted to wait until it came out in paperback as there are only so many hardbacks I can afford! (Why oh why do they make them so expensive?) However, when I went to the store the other day to get a specific book and discovered they didn't have it, I picked this up instead. I was surprised to find it sitting in the Young Adult section of the store. The cover of the book didn't scream YA to me, especially since most of the stuff being put out in the YA section lately is pure manure (Twilight anyone).

From the author's website (as I gave the book to my sister and can't give you the cover's blurb):

An ancient prophecy divides two sisters.
One good.
One evil.
Only one will prevail…

Twin sisters Lia and Alice Milthorpe have just become orphans. They have also become fierce enemies. As they discover their roles in a prophecy that has turned generations of sisters against each other, the girls find themselves entangled in an age-old battle that could have consequences of biblical proportions.

Lia and Alice don't know whom they can trust. They just know they can't trust each other.

The storyline itself is not something especially new but I was interested anyway by the book cover and the idea that these sisters are simply pawns in a prophecy that they may or may not even be aware of. Another surprise for me was the time period. I didn't expect a Victorian era setting from the blurb or the cover. When you're expecting modern and get Victorian that can be a bit of a jolt but it works for this book. I don't think a story like this could be told with the modern conveniences of Google. It would be way too easy to side step some fairly important discoveries. Also, the most interesting character in the book, Sonia, is a spiritualist. Spiritualists were a big thing in the Victorian era. People were in love with the idea of spiritualists and they were pretty much a dime a dozen (and mostly frauds). Sonia is not a fraud and she leads Lia through her strange and developing abilities.

For the most part I adored this book. I thought the writing was beautifully done and succinct. Except for one part where I felt Zink took too long letting her characters catch up with what the reader knew for awhile (i.e. the mystery of the Keys - that I am not revealing here), she doesn't talk down to her audience. Too often that is what happens in books written for children and young adults. The adults writing them forget that young people are not stupid (ah-hem, Meyer) and don't need to be led by the hand to understand a plot line. Zink wrote as one might for any mature audience, which makes me glad I found this book and anxious for the next one.

Best Friends Forever

Here I go reviewing another chick-lit book. They are so perfect for listening to while driving. I hate driving and they take me away and make me laugh. I have come to believe that sometimes fluff is good, even if I would be bored just sitting on my couch reading it. It's not boring listening.

Jennifer Weiner's book Best Friends Forever is the story of childhood friends Addie and Valerie who have not spoken to each other since senior year of high school. On the night of their 10 year reunion, Valerie unexpectedly drops by Addie's house in need of her help. Though suspicious and (still) angry, Addie is also secretly delighted that her best friend has come back to her.

I found Addie to whiny and Valerie to be vapid and the situation slightly unbelievable which by themselves could have made this book get an F from Miss Tonya but together made the story funny and diverting on my boring drive. I suggest if you like this genre of books go out and read right away. You will not be disappointed. Except I was. The end was a big let down. Weiner had this great story and this funny relationship between her two characters and it's obvious she spent a lot of time deciding which direction to go next: make it a little more crazy or give the reader a breather for a minute. She even came up with a great ending. The problem was she kept going after the book should have ended. I guess she wanted to have the "happily ever after" ending where everyone gets what they want and the girl gets the awesome boy and everyone kisses and is "happy." This ending just rang hollow and I wish she hadn't tried to do that. Sometimes as a reader I like a little bit of a vague future that I can picture for myself.

City of Bones

I discovered Cassandra Clare's City of Bones at Target one day by accident. I had been in the book store the day before feeling just plain frustrated by the lack of anything new in the fantasy section. Oh, there's plenty of new released stuff but it's simply the same old tired ideas recycled with a new cover. So, in frustration I just picked up American Gods by Neil Gaiman. I read it several years ago and loved it but I was in my internship at the time and have forgotten more than I remember. Then the next day I forgot to take it with me to work. On Thursdays I have a 2 hour break right in the middle of the day. So off I went to Target (because the stupid town of Weatherford, where I work, doesn't have a bookstore!) and again found myself standing in front of the books with frustration growing. I turned to look at the Young Adult section and the cover of this book leapt out at me. It actually sounded interesting in way that nothing else did. I haven't read a Young Adult book since the Twilight disaster but I thought I'd give this a chance.

From the back cover:
When Clary Fray heads out to the Pandemonium Club in New York City, she hardly expects to witness a murder. Much less a murder committed by three teenagers covered with odd markings. This is Clary's first meeting with the Shadowhunters, warriors dedicated to ridding the earth of demons - and keeping the odd werewolves and vampires in line. It's also her first meeting with the gorgeous, golden-haired Jace. Within 24 hours Clary is pulled into Jace's world with a vengeance, when her mother disappears and Clary herself is attacked by a demon. but why would demons be interested in an ordinary mundane like Clary? And how did she suddenly get the Sight? The Shadowhumters would like to know.

I have to admit I was probably attracted to this for a reason that should have been obvious to me but I didn't even notice until Andrea pointed it out - it sounds a little like Buffy. I guess from the demon-hunting aspect it does a little, but as I read this book it occurred to me it was a lot more like Harry Potter in some parts of the plot line and then even more like Star Wars (Clary in the role of Luke). In fact, I would have to say the parts that originally made me think Harry Potter are the same parts that are major themes in Star Wars. Some of the book was fairly predictable. All the big "AH-HA!" moments were more like "ummm, yeah I saw that coming" moments. I kept thinking, "why don't these kids who are supposed to be so intelligent see what's happening?" but I had to remind myself that they are teenagers who for the most part still believe the major adults in their lives and even though these ideas are fairly common in literature and movies, for someone to automatically leap to the conclusion that someone they've spent years with might betray them or someone they thought long dead will not actually be would be ridiculous leaps of imagination for us to make in real life. And truly, if it wasn't for Star Wars in the first place would I have predicted these things? Well, maybe...After all, George Lucas based the themes in Star Wars on the writings of Joseph Campbell, another of my favorite people.

So, ok, even with the predictability and allusions to Luke Skywalker, I really liked this book. Clary is a strong female character, which is refreshing. I was so irritated by the Twilight series (yes, I'm going to keep bring that up every chance I can) and I was beginning to fear that teenage girls around the world would see this spineless, half-person that is Bella as a role model. Clary is strong and she has a mind of her own. She also has interests outside of that of any man in her life, and she doesn't drop them simply because she's with someone else. In fact, while this book has some elements of "oohh, what's going to happen in Clary's love life?" it's not an important issue in the story. She just doesn't spend all that much time thinking about it. She has her moments, of course, she is a 15 year old girl, but her whole being doesn't revolve around trying to be with a boy, like it did for Bella.

Another plus is that Cassandra Clare is simply a good writer. Even though this is a Young Adult book, I didn't feel she was talking down to her audience. She doesn't repeat herself as if she believes her audience is too stupid to remember when she said that earlier in the book. Is it possible to write a book like this without being so predictable? I don't know, I've never done it, but maybe. Is it possible to take known themes and present them in a fresh and interesting way? Now I know it is.

The Golden City by John Twleve Hawks

The Golden City is the third and final installment in John Twelve Hawks' trilogy The Fourth Realm. If you've missed my previous discussions on these books, you can see them here and here.

Before I get into the actual review of this book, I have to say I waited a very long time for it. I know, there are people who waited something like 15 years for Stephen King to finish The Dark Tower series, so I guess I should count myself lucky. AND, I started this series long after I started Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series and I'm STILL waiting for that ending so I guess I shouldn't complain too much. At least Hawks didn't die before finishing! But I feel like I've waited even longer for this last book because it seemed so important in a way that other fiction doesn't. These books opened my eyes to the craziness around us. Yes, this is fiction but the technology he talks about is real. These terrible things that the Vast Machine uses to control people in this series are things that are actually being used today. I won't go all crazy talking about that again. My first post on this series pretty much says all I wanted to say on that.

I also started this book later than I wanted. I wanted to re-read the other two books before this one came out in order to remind myself of any parts of the plot I had forgotten. I had loaned a friend The Traveler and didn't get it back until the day before The Golden City was released. Then, I had to deal with fleas in the house. Oh, what a joy. That took a lot of time to wash everything and the dogs and I am still not sure they're completely gone. YUCK! Then, I got the flu and didn't feel like reading. So, all this waiting and anticipating can build an excitement for a book that can either make it all the more wonderful or a big let down. This was not a let down.

I think Hawks has grown as a writer since the first book. His style is the same but there is more flow between passages. I have no idea if this really was his first book as is claimed but if he was already an accomplished writer like some have speculated, I don't think this growth would have been obvious. If you're confused by that statement, then you're not aware that no one really knows who John Twelve Hawks is. His name is a pen name and he never makes appearances. All interviews and online commentary are through a third party and he claims to live off the grid. I wasn't aware of this when I first picked up The Traveler. I simply saw an interesting book at the store and decided to read it. I was so blown away by the ideas presented in it that I began looking for more information. There are whole sites dedicated to discussing who he might be. In the older posts Dan Brown seems to be the major contender but I read a lot of Dan Brown's books and unless he's REALLY good at changing his style, I don't think that's it. Plus, he also just released a book. Not likely. Some other interesting candidates were J.K. Rowling, Michael Cunnigham, and Stephen Hawking. I'm intrigued by the Rowling suggestion. What better way to fend off the naysayers if you want to put out something completely different than what you're known for. However, I don't buy it either. I think my favorite is the Stephen Hawking suggestion. I'm not sure where this idea came from but it's a wonderful one, even if it's not true. I don't really care though. If Hawks wants to be mysterious and never show himself, I say so be it as long as he gives me another wonderful novel.

The Fourth Realm series is centered around Maya and Gabriel. Maya is a wayward Harlequin. She was born into the life and taught by her father from a very young age to fight, be independent, and avoid being a part of mainstream society in order to best protect the Travelers. The Travelers are people who are able to leave their bodies and travel to one of 5 other dimensions (or realms). Gabriel is just learning in the first book that he is a Traveler. Along with his brother Michael, he has inherited this gift from his father. The Traveler mainly introduced these characters and showed us the power of the Vast Machine. Gabriel and Michael early on chose different sides in the conflict. The conflict appears to be almost over by our time. The people in power behind the governments are a group called the Brethren. They have over time amassed a great deal of power and lead the world quietly without ever being detected by the majority of the population. Travelers come into every generation and learn from their travels to other realms. They see the world in a different way and are able to lead people toward true freedom. I imagine if travelers were real then the ones from the last century would be people like Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr, and John Lennon. Obviously this makes this a threat to the vision the Brethren have for the world and they have been hunted throughout time. Until now. Now Michael has joined their team.

I think one of the most interesting aspects of these books is the 6 different realms, which Hawks borrowed from The Tibetan Book of the Dead. The First Realm is a type of Hell, or Hades, or whatever you want to call it. It is a place where violence is constant and a way of life. The Second Realm is the place of the Hungry Ghosts, where the people can never be satisfied. The Third Realm is the forest of animals. No humans live here and it is speculated that this mirrors the biblical Eden. The Fourth Realm is where we live. The Fifth Realm is a place of the half-gods where the dominant trait is jealousy. And the Sixth is the realm of the gods where the dominant trait is pride.

During The Traveler we are given a chance to experience the Second Realm. The First is prevalent throughout The Dark River and The Golden City. In The Golden City Michael meets the half-gods and is shown by them how to manipulate the governments of the world to take over. By this time he is truly one of the bad guys. It seemed to me that the Sixth Realm was a version of what our world would be if we don't wake up and demand our rights not be taken away "for our own good." Both he and Gabriel briefly visit the Third Realm and I wish they had spent more time exploring. Maybe it would have dragged the book a little but I feel this was the most beautiful Realm. It sounds like a place I would like to visit. Gabriel also gets a surprise when he finally makes it to the Golden City in the Sixth Realm.

I think Hawks did a good job of wrapping up the story in this book while still leaving us wanting more. On his site he answers questions from his fans. In response to one about this book, he said he can't answer questions that would have spoilers. But he also put in this tidbit that I'd like to leave you with. I think it sums it all up nicely:

In general, I can say that those characters that are alive at the end of the trilogy are going to continue those lives.
At the end of The Golden City, the implication should be that what happens is up to all of us (myself included). Are you going to defend your own freedom? How will you stand against the Vast Machine?

Audio: Twenties Girl

Once again I chose a chick-lit book for my car driving entertainment. I am actually liking Sophie Kinsella's books, against my better judgement! I still don't think it's the kind of thing I would want to sit down and read on my couch when I feel like being taken away by a book, but I really like listening to them in the car.

Lara is a 27-year-old head hunter trying to make a go of her new business, which she started with her flaky best friend. The best friend who ran off to the tropics with some man and left her holding down the fort. The best friend who actually knows something about being a head hunter, unlike Lara who has never worked in the business before. In the midst of this Lara is required to attend the funeral of her 107 year great aunt. While there, Lara hears a strange woman screaming, "WHERE'S MY NECKLACE!" Oddly enough, it turns out to be the ghost of Sadie, her recently deceased great aunt. You know, the one they're having the funeral for...The story is a hilarious journey to find Sadie's necklace and the changes she brings to Lara life.

Personally, I think this is Kinsella's best book yet. The Shopaholic series really did nothing for me, though I enjoyed the movie. Domestic Goddess and Remember Me? were pretty good but I simply don't think they hold a candle to this book. Lara's growing relationship with the great aunt she never met when she was alive is hilarious and beautiful. The capers they get into are just ridiculous, but not unbelievably so. This is a definite must read for someone looking for a fun book.

The Traveler: an excerpt and discussion

I talked about this and the second book, The Dark River, in John Twelve Hawks series The Fourth Realm a little bit last year. The third book came out this week and I will be reading it as soon as I finish the second book again. These books have made a big impact on me and I hope anyone who has ever been interested in politics, REAL privacy, and freedom brought about by activism not war will read these books.

I won't spend the time reviewing them again since you can read that other review here if you're interested.

Instead I'd like to discuss an interesting passage that I either didn't really think about last time I read it or forgot about in the larger scheme of the novel. One of the smaller characters in the book is a neuroscientist, Dr. Richardson, who's world gets turned upside down when he is introduced to the existence of the Travelers, Harlequins, and Tabula. Before this though, he gives a lecture on the non-existence of God. I got the impression from the description of this man that he is based on Richard Dawkins who wrote The God Delusion, but I might be wrong about that. I'm about to quote quite heavily from this part of the book in order for you to understand my argument. He says:

For the last decade, I have studied the neurological basis of the human spiritual experience. I assembled a sample group of individuals who frequently meditated or prayed, then injected them with a radioactive tracer whenever they felt they were in direct connection with God and the infinite universe. The results are as follows...

When the person prays, the prefrontal cortex is focused on the words. Meanwhile the superior parietal lobe at the top of the brain has gone dark. The left lobe processes information about our position in space and time. It gives us the idea that we have a distinct physical body. When the parietal shuts down, we can no longer distinguish between our self and the rest of the world. As a result, the subject believes that he or she is in contact with with the timeless and infinite power of God. It feels like a spiritual experience, but it's really just a neurological illusion...

The individual having a religious vision is actually reacting to flashes of neurological stimulation in the temporal lobe...In order to duplicate the experience, I've taped electromagnets onto the skulls of my experimental volunteers and have created a weak magnetic field. All of the subjects reported an out-of-body sensation and a feeling that they were in direct contact with a divine power.

Ok, if you read all of that you're now primed for my argument and (hopefully) will even have some arguments of your own to either add to mine or dispute mine. I realize this is fiction and these studies are probably not real, however I have heard this argument from scientists before; most notable Richard Dawkins. I like Dawkins' work, I find it intriguing. I do not, however, agree with everything he says. So, taking into account this is fiction, I'm working from the premise that there are people that do believe this and I am making my argument to that.

My first thought when I began reading this was bull****. When I eat I will have brain activity that can be shown on scans. That does not mean the food is a figment of my imagination. When I hear music, I will also have brain activity that will show up on brain scans. Again, the music is not a figment of my imagination. I can cite a dozen similar examples but I think you get the point. If these people he was studying showed no change in their brain activity when in the midst of their out-of-body experiences or connections to God, then he would probably show that as evidence that they were making it all up. The reason? Because if there is no change in brain activity then nothing different from the ordinary is taking place. Clearly he is proving that SOMETHING different from the ordinary is taking place. I am not going to get into a religious discussion. I've done that before on here and it was fun. I enjoy talking about the differences and similarities in religion in my personal life too. Joseph Campbell is one of my favorite writers. What I want to say is that I think a study like this proves the experience was real, not the other way around. In fact, what if it is necessary to have this particular brain activity in order to have the experience? Some of the Eastern philosophies believe that you must have certain physical conditions met before you can achieve a spiritual goal. That's why meditation is so important. It is also why people sing and pray at church, it puts them in a certain mind frame. It is why some people fast for long periods of time. The group-ness of it helps too. Having people around who are experiencing the same thing you are, makes it easier to enter that physical space in order to achieve the spiritual goal. I believe this may be one reason why Christians (and even those groups before them) originally needed to gather in one place. So, when the scientist in the book creates the physical experience, maybe the subjects really did have a spiritual experience.

Please, I would love opinions on this!

Spiritwalk by Charles de Lint

Spiritwalk by Charles de Lint is the sequel to a wonderful novel I read not too long ago, Moonheart. Though it is a sequel in the strictest sense, it is not necessary to read Moonheart to be able to understand the goings on in Spiritwalk. Most of the characters that the newer book deals with are new to the Tamson House, where both books spend a great deal of time. Tamson House is a magical place that draws the odd characters of society, artists, musicians, magicians, religious of all kinds, and just the general outcast but the house has a way rejecting those that might be there be nefarious reasons and drawing closer in those that are seeking something beautiful from life.

While I loved Moonheart and had that I-can't-put-this-down feeling, I just had the hardest time getting into Spiritwalk. Part of the reason may be that it was originally 4 different short stories. Just as I was getting into it, it was over and something new was happening. I didn't know this before I picked up the book and it was fairly annoying. Maybe knowing this, it would have been a more enjoyable read. I do like short stories. But I picked this up looking forward to another de Lint novel and instead I got some serious repetition when the new story began. I hate repetition in novels. It makes me feel as if the author thinks his audience is stupid and doesn't remember when he said that 10 pages ago. I've know other short stories that have been made into novels and didn't get this feeling. I wonder why de Lint and his editor didn't make the stories flow better when they decided to put them together as one novel. Maybe they thought all they had to do was bind them in one book and say "He ya go, the sequel to Moonheart!" If so, that's just laziness. I can't say that I've absolutely loved every single de Lint book I've read, though I do tend to go on and on about them, but this is the first that I feel seriously let me down.